So you know the ‘Just Do It’ slogan? If you’re from the US, it’s most likely burned into your brain, and if not, it’s easily google-able. But regardless of its purpose as Nike’s slogan, it’s pretty solid advice when you think about it. Especially when you need to learn to be confident in yourself!

But what if you don’t believe that you can? What if you just aren’t a confident person?

Well, sugar plum, here’s what I have to say about that…

In my never-ending voyages down the Pinterest wormholes, I’ve come across a lot of self-help/self-love quotes that really hit home. Some of my most recent finds have a lot to do with getting started on your journey and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone for the sake of growth.

My favorite has to be the saying, “nothing changes if nothing changes”. I’ve not only heard this before, but I actually try to remind myself of it quite often. Although, I did find many others that I felt resonated with me. And they all seemed to share a similar message.

I once had a therapist tell me that she hated the idea of “fake it ’til you make it” because she thought it meant you weren’t creating real habits. But I think of it as being more along the lines of “be it until you believe it”.

It’s like gaslighting yourself, but into believing in yourself and your abilities. As weird as it is, I fully believe it’s necessary when fighting against mental illness.

When you struggle so much with self-worth and confidence, it’s often because your brain does nothing but tell you how worthless you are. You believe it because that’s what your brain tells you, time and time again.

And SOMETIMES, that’s what your brain tells you because that’s actually what OTHERS have told you! Which makes it even harder to convince yourself that what they say is untrue.

(Ahh, humanity…so incredibly fun…)

My husband, Lucas, once told me that it makes perfect sense as to why this happens. He explained, “if your whole life, everyone around you told you that the sky was purple, you’d start to doubt yourself until you finally believed what they were telling you. And then when someone comes along and says ‘the sky isn’t pruple, it’s blue!’ of course you’re going to doubt them or just altogether think they’re full of shit because your whole life, everyone else was telling you a lie.”

And my sweet, sweet golden retriever of a man is right.

Of course, that’s a drastically over-simplified way to explain gaslighting, but that’s the gist. When someone, including your own brain, tells you something repeatedly, you’re going to start to doubt yourself. EVEN IF IT’S A LIE! And the more it happens, the more that doubt turns into stone-cold belief in what they’re saying.

That’s why I believe so much in “fake it ’til you make it”. Because sometimes the only way to reverse cruel gaslighting is to gaslight yourself in the other direction.

If you have to pretend to be a confident person in order to accomplish your goals, then by all means, do it! Pretend to be confident until you realize that you’ve stopped pretending a long time ago!

Eventually, and it’ll for sure hit you like a fucking truck, you’ll realize that you stopped pretending and actually ARE a confident person. Maybe for the first time in a long time, or maybe for the first time ever. Either way, it’ll be true. And instead of having to prep and convince yourself to walk out your front door pretending to be a confident, has-their-shit-together person, you’ll just do it.

Without needing to prep.

Or needing to convince.

And without even thinking.

It’ll be wonderfully, beautifully, effortless!

You’ll become the person you’ve been hoping to become. And it not only won’t be a struggle anymore, but it won’t be fake. It’ll be real.

It’ll be you!

That’s why the best way to become the person you want to be, is to just BE that person.

I mean, do you have to gaslight yourself into being that way? Yeah, kind of, in a strange way. But it’s such a positive change, I think anyone who has anything negative to say about that isn’t worth their two cents.

Yeah…things didn’t work out too well with that therapist…

But honestly, if you’ve spent your whole life, or even part of your life, listening to anyone break you down, then you deserve to be positively gaslit, in my oh-so-humble opinion.

I mean, just think about it. You deserve to feel good about yourself, right? And believe in yourself? Or at the very least, NOT feel like shit about yourself?

Of course you do!

That’s why, just with someone telling you that you’re too this or too that, so many times that you end up believing it, you have every right to do the opposite. And it’ll work the same way.

Needing to fake it until you make it is just that. It’s telling yourself something positive until your brain finally believes it. Over time, you’ll become more and more confident, just as you deserve to be.

And honestly, I think the fact that we, as humans, even have that kind of power over our minds is pretty amazing. Because as much as it sucks having someone beat you down, you always have the power to pick yourself back up.

YOU ARE STRONG!

Now just be confident and believe it.